It’s crazy how things can take a turn in your life. One day you have an empty nest and the next you are in the middle of a tragic accident with one of your children. It was June 19, 2018, that I received a call at 1:24 am that my daughter has been involved in a drive by shooting. I jumped out of bed and rushed 68 miles to Louisville Kentucky. Soon as I get there my youngest daughter 22 years old was crying and screaming that her sister was shot and the back. I was frantic and scared for her life. Attempts to console my youngest daughter were difficult enough. But I needed to see what her injury was if she would survive and what I could do for her.  I was finally let into the emergency room to see her, and she was calm and told me not to worry. I was greeted by a spinal surgeon who stated he is unable to remove the bullet without the fear of causing complete paralysis. I looked at him and stated, “what do you mean” He replied “she would be paralysis from the waist down. The bullet severed her nerve and is between her spin T9 and T10. 

It has been nearly 5 years since that call was received. I have learned a lot from being her care giver.  She went through physical therapy, depression, anger, and periods of sadness. I feel sorry for her having to deal with this injury. But very happy that I still have my daughter here and alive. We had to learn together how to move about in society. Together we have made great strides in her ability to be independent. I deal with challenges when there are not accessible businesses for her to enter. Sidewalks are not appropriate for her wheelchair to roll on. For instance, where we live there is not a handicap accessible sidewalk or ramp to enter the sidewalk or get off.  So frequently I see other disabled individuals using the street to get around the neighborhood. Cars are driving fast, and it appears to be a scary situation for the disabled person. In hopes that all parties are paying attention to be safe. It would be great to see a better situation for the disabled person. 

My apartment is not handicap accessible. The doorway to get in and out of a room is small. Sometimes we hit our knuckles on the wall trying to maneuver the chair around. I have searched for handicap accessible living areas. And that has become a task all by itself. Many of these properties are in income-based arenas. I certainly do not qualify for these properties. My daughter is not able to live on her own. So, we are stuck with living with what we have.  

Her is how a day in my life goes. We get up at 6:30 am. I assist my daughter with her bath, brushing her teeth and dressing. I take a shower, brush my teeth, and comb my hair.  Lastly, I get dressed for the day. My daughter has finished her make-up and is now ready to get in her chair. We use a sliding board to get over to her wheelchair. We grab our purses and head out the door. Sometimes we don’t have a great parking space in the front of the complex. So, I must pull up on the grass to get her into the car. I again use her sliding board to get into the car. Her wheelchair broke down and placed it into the car.  We headed off to my office where she assists me as a receptionist. We are in the office complex and there is not a handicap assisted door. If she was alone, it would be difficult for her to open the door and propel herself into the wheelchair. So, I must hold the door open so that she may enter the building. The bathroom in my office is not handicapped accessible for her to use. So, she uses the kitchen sink to wash her hands. We decide for lunch we want to eat out and quickly see a lot of restaurants are not handicapped accessible. One restaurant in Hamburg has a revolving door to enter. How is she supposed to enter through a revolving door and her wheelchair.  It’s the little things that can be a big deal for her. Seeing things through her eyes have opened me up to a world that is not fair to disabled individuals. They already must fight the depression of not having the life they have had before. But to deal with life in a different way.  I see those struggles with her, and they are not fun to watch the disappointment because she doesn’t feel she can participate due to access is not easy for her. To go home we go through the same process of the use of the sliding board to get into the car. Hoping there is a descent parking spot to get her out of the car at home.  

This is life for us now. I will do the best that I can as a parent to remove as many obstacles as possible. The love for your child never ends. I will protect her as much as possible. Together we will figure things out and do it to the best of our ability.